At first, it might seem like a harmless meme. Maybe it’s a joke about someone’s body, a comment about appearance, or a picture making fun of a certain feature. He sends it and laughs, maybe even says, “Relax, it’s just a joke.” But psychologists say that repeated “jokes” about someone’s face or body can sometimes be a subtle form of manipulation rather than harmless humor.
Humor can be a wonderful part of relationships. Laughing together creates connection and reduces stress. However, when jokes repeatedly target someone’s appearance, personality, or insecurities, they can slowly erode confidence. Over time, this type of behavior may create feelings of self-doubt or embarrassment, especially if the person receiving the jokes feels uncomfortable but doesn’t want to appear overly sensitive.
Psychologists often refer to this behavior as “negging” or subtle emotional manipulation. Negging happens when someone delivers small insults disguised as jokes or playful comments. The goal may not always be conscious or intentional, but the effect can be the same: making the other person feel slightly insecure or less confident.
Why would someone do this? According to relationship experts, there are several possible reasons.
One reason is control. When someone feels insecure themselves, they may try to gain power in a relationship by lowering the other person’s confidence. If you start to feel less attractive or less worthy, you might begin to seek their approval more often. This can create an unhealthy dynamic where one person holds emotional power over the other.
